New low: just hacked my moms facebook
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
