no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
so much tequila, so little girl.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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