Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
