...so i touched it.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
