The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
