I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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