this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
