she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
