My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
