Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
