Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
