happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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