I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
one two three fourrrrnication!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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