went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
