No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
