make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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