So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
