Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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