Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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