You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
