apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
