What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
