What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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