Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
