So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
