just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
