Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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