worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
