Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
