you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
