My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
