she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
