3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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