whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
