Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
