She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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