Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
