I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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