Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
