through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
