Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
