69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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