Duck Duck Cougar?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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