I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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