they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
