Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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