I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
