I don't think brook has ever known best
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
