Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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