turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
