Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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