She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
