Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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