it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
