Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
